When do you Realise?
by PenelopeJess
Summary: Derek Shepherd finally realises who the love of his life is. Please review! The sequel titled 'When Trouble Comes' is up!


**Disclaimer:**None of the Grey's Anatomy characters belong to me. This takes place after episode _"It's the End of the World."_

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"Oh God, Derek. Why, why Derek. Why!" Addison muttered to herself as she paced around the room, her hands pressed against her forehead. Finally, she sunk back down onto the couch, on the verge of breaking down. She ran a hand through her hand and took in a deep breathe. After a few seconds for collecting herself, Addison stood up again and headed out of the room, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Outside the room, the interns shifted frantically as they watch Addison turn into the corner.

"Do you think she's alright?"  
"Seriously, George? God, men can be so stupid sometimes." Izzie rolled her eyes and walked away.  
"Way to go, dude." Alex said, walking after Izzie.

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"Meredith. The girl with the bomb is Meredith." Cristina blurted out, tears welling up in her eyes. Derek whirled around, speechless. The lifeline beep on the machine goes off, signalling the beating of the heart has stopped. The continuous beep brought Derek back to reality as the surgical team hurried to bring life back to Tucker. Outside, the bomb squad is moving the body and Meredith away to another operating room. With a desperate punch to Tucker's chest, Derek got his heart to start beating again. Breathing a sigh of relief, he moved back in continuation with the surgery. Suddenly, an explosion went off. Derek's heart sank. iMeredith./i he thought, looking out of the closed OR, then to the surgical tools in his hand. Waiting for his cue, the surgical team looked up at him. Derek turned to Cristina with a nod. "Go." he instructed. Cristina nodded and bolted out of the room, not even bothering to undo her mask. iPlease, please let them be alright./i she prayed, dashing towards the sound of the explosion. But she froze when she saw the chaos in front of her eyes. Small balls of flames were everywhere around the ground, debris was falling. She turned her head slowly to the ORs around it. "Suction." A familiar voice ordered out of the awkward silence. Cristina breathed out a sigh of relief, then started back to her team. Then, a movement caught her eye. Cristina frowned as she turned back, staring at the object that moved. "Oh god." she yelled, rushing foward as she found Meredith on the ground, unconscious. She knelt down beside her friend, placed two fingers firmly on her wrist and checked for a pulse. Noting that she is still alive, Cristina started turning Meredith to her back slowly, shaking her softly. "Meredith. Meredith!" When no response was made, Cristina rushed to the OR opposite the one Preston was in and started dialing. "Hello? This is Yang. Grey is injured and out. I need help." she called out frantically. Nodding several times to the voice on the other side, she hung up and started back to Meredith, cradling her friend's head in her arm.

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"Miranda." Addison called out softly, placing a hand on the resident's shoulder in hope that it will provide comfort. "Miranda, listen to me. You need to push. Your contractions are thirty seconds apart and if you do not conceive in an hour's time, your baby will die, your health will be in danger." But Miranda just shook her head, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Her forehead was stained with sweat. "No... No! I will not do this without my husband. I'm having this baby..tomorrow." she insisted. "No," she shook her head again. "Not today. Not today..." she said, dissolving into quiet sobs again. Addison walked out of the room, a hand rubbing her temple. George, lurking around the hospital grounds hoping to help out with something, watched on as Addison left the room with her head lowered once again. At the quiet corner, he peek through the window, looking directly at the side of his resident that he had never witnessed.

Addison lowered her head as she saw Richard through the corner of her eyes, trying to walk by unnoticed. Emotions were welling up inside her, with Derek in danger and Miranda refusing to cooperate, she was loosing control and her sanity. "Addison." Richard called out, watching in concern as his favourite student went by her without even looking up. Addison ignored the call and walked on. "Addison... Addy!" he tried again, this time, she stopped, but did not turn around. She drew in a deep breathe, gathering herself before allowing Richard to guide her into his office. In there, Richard settled her down on the couch, closed the door and drew the curtains. Forcing a smile, Addison looked up. "Chief." she greeted, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Addison. What's wrong?" he asked. She shook her head forcefully, looking down again, refusing to show her emotions.

"It's... It's Bailey. I still can't get her to cooperate. Have you uhmm.. have you manage to get an OR for the emergency C-section?" Richard sighed, settling down on the armchair behind his desk. "You know I can't do that, Addison. I can't send a pregnant woman who is about to conceive up on a helicopter, and I cannot open an OR for you. The level is out of bound to all staff." he explained once again. "You have to find some ways to have her cooperate."

Addison nodded, knowing better than to argue. There was nothing she could do. If the situation doesn't cooperate, she will have to find a way to gain access to an OR, whether Richard approve of it or not. She refused to meet Richard's gaze, desperately trying to swallow her emotions. There was silence, but Addison could tell that Richard was watching her. Not able to take it anymore, placed her palms onto the couch, ready to leave. "Addy." Richard started, his voice filled with concern. "I'm fine." she said, not making any eye contact with her boss. She pushed herself off the couch. Richard nodded, knowing Addison too well than to push her to show her emotions unwillingly. She stood up, starting towards the door. The first step foward was shaky, the room spun around her. Addison stopped, steadying herself on the spot. _I need to get out of here._ she thought, taking another step forward. Dizziness that hit her knocked the breathe out of her as she gasped, clutching a hand to her chest. "Addison!" the chief called out, rushing to her immediately, both hands held on to her shoulders to steady her. Addison, trying to catch her breathe, turned to face Richard for a moment before she collapsed in his arms.

"Addison! Oh my god. I need some help in here! Addy!"

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George paced around outside Miranda's room, throwing glances into the room to make sure she was alright. He was going to be a doer. Izzie has became a doer, making out with Alex. That isn't quite of a big step of doing anything helpful in this situation but she took a step and became a doer. Then, a moan, audible enough travelled out of Miranda's room. George jerked his head and saw her trying to turn over, a hand holding her stomach. A nurse walked by, George rushed up in front of her. "Have you uhmm...seen Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?" The nurse shrugged and walked away._Where is she?_he wondered, checking the time again. _Dr. Bailey are having her contractions 20 seconds apart._ He paced around outside frantically, then finally pushing the door open and took a step inside. Miranda turned around, took a glance at him and turned away. "What do you want, O'Malley"  
"Dr. Bailey. I know you." he started, taking another step towards the bed. "You're better than this." "Go away, O'Malley. I'm not having this baby today." she said, turning away from him. George walked up and positioned himself in front of her. "Dr. Bailey. Look at me, look--" he wet the towel by the bed and rubbed it across Miranda's forehead. "Look at me." he said again, tone softer this time. Miranda looked up, tears stained her cheeks. "I know this is difficult. I know that there are a lot of things around here that we cannot control. But this, you can control.

"Don't give up, Dr. Bailey. I know you never give up. So what do you say, we have this baby together?" he smiled. To his surprise, Miranda gave in with a nod. Poking his head out of the room, George yelled for help, then, climbed up onto the bed behind Miranda, getting her ready for child birth.

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In the darkened room, Alex and Izzie breathed in and out in unison, their passion and lust for each other slowing down. They pulled away, looking into each other's eyes with a smile playing across their lips. Alex brushed a hair out of Izzie's face as they share one more kiss before dressing themselves up. They walked out of the room nonchalently, Izzie tying her hair up into a bun to keep it professional and out of her face. "Alright, we should probably find something to do. Something useful." Izzie suggested. Alex shrugged, his eyes scanning around the hospital in search for a case to snatch.

"Move it, people!" a nurse yelled, pushing a stretcher through the hallway. Both interns looked to each other, almost ready to compete for the case, but at the sight of the patient, the both of them froze, watching as the stretcher roll by. After awhile, Alex broke the silence. "Is that... Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?"

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"Ok, it's done people. Good job. You all did a good job. Let's wrap it up." Derek said, his hands working gracefully while sewing Tucker's scalp flab back on. The surgery had went by successfully despite the danger that went on in that level.

In the other OR, Preston was already sewing the open wound close on the patient's body. His surgery, has too went by successfully.

"Alright people, good job!" he praised. After they scrub out, both surgeons looked out of the OR with a sigh of relief. At the same time, they worry about if anything had happened to the people that they care about in this level. "Bring them down." they both said in unison, in the two different ORs. Taking a few minutes to collect themselves, they walked out of the OR at the same time, bumping into each other immediately.

"Where's Meredith?" Derek asked immediately, trying his best to be professional. "Where's Cristina?" Preston questioned without answering. "I heard that explosion and sent her out to check things out. Where's Meredith?" he asked again. Preston breathe a sigh of relief for the second time and shrugged. "I heard the explosion. I looked up and Grey was gone." A frantic look crossed Derek's face. "I think they probably found each other." he added immediately, heading towards the elevator. Derek followed suit, trying to keep positive.

Reaching the ground level, everything was functioning normally, no crowd gathering around the elevator to welcome them. Preston paged Cristina, asking to meet her in the locker room. Derek headed the opposite direction, searching frantically for Meredith. Failing to find her in any of the rooms, he headed straight to the elevator, attempting to try the other levels. Then, a familiar figure caught his eye. _Meredith._ he recognised, following her without a word until she turned into a secluded corner.

"Meredith." He called out. The girl turned around, tears of relieved flowed down her face. She took only a step forward, drawing in a deep breathe.

"Hey."  
"You alright?" Derek asked. Meredith nodded.

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"George!" Izzie called out, jogging towards him with Alex following close behind. George turned around, exhausted from the delivery. "What did you do?" Izzie asked with a frown, but got on with her purpose. "What happened to Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?" she asked, genuinely concerned. "Oh I'd like to know that. She left Bailey in her room all by herself. I had to be the one who help deliver the baby." he said, walking away.  
"You didn't know?"  
"Didn't know what?" George asked, turning around again.  
"We saw Dr. Montgomery Shepherd being wheeled into the A&E." Alex explained.  
"What?"

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By now, Meredith was already in standing right in front of him. After the life-threatening episode, she realised not to lose even a moment with the one she loves. Derek stood there, not moving foward, not moving back either. Meredith leaned in, ready for a kiss. Derek's eyes travelled down to her lips. Then, his pager beeped. He looked away with a sigh, knowing better than to ignore a page. It may be something important, an emergency.

_"Addison sent to A&E -- Chief"_

At that message, he rushed off without even giving one last look to Meredith. Meredith looked on as he ran off, nodding her head as she bit the bottom of her lip._ He loves her more._ she realised, heading into the opposite direction.

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Derek reached the elevator, jamming the button with his finger several times before giving up, heading to the stairs instead. He flew down the flights of stairs and ran straight into the emergency room. Everyone was silent, standing there without a sound.

They all looked up as he flung open the doors, panting heavily. In the middle of the room was Addison, lying there under a white sheet, still in her scrubs. No monitor was attached to her, nothing. Not even an oxygen mask around her face. Derek felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of his wife lying there motionless. "Addison." he muttered, running a hand through his hair. _It looked like Russell Crowe's._ he remembered her saying. _I like it even better._ He shook his head with disbelief. "No. No, Addy. You can't do this to me!" he called out, rushing straight to her side. His face crumpled as he started sobbing into her chest. Slowly, the others in the room left, leaving Derek with his wife. Just before the Chief left, Derek looked up, tears running down his cheek.

"Richard, what happened?"

The chief simply shook his head and went out without a word. Derek bit the bottom of his lip, slotting his hands under Addison's body, hugging it tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't forgiven you earlier. You're forgiven, Addy. I love you, I've always did. You're the love of my life. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." he sobbed. Then, Addison started coming around. She coughed, catching Derek by surprise. Slowly, her eyes opened.

"Derek?" she called out, scanning her surroundings in confusion.  
"What...what am I doing in the emergency room?"

The confusion in her eyes was genuine. Derek leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead, helping her up and threw his arms around her, closing his eyes with relieved. Addison, although still confused, wrap her arms around Derek's body. Opening his eyes again, Derek looked up and saw the Chief looking down at them from the top. Richard nodded as hecaught Derek's eye. Derek moved closer and press tighter against his wife. He finally understood--Addison _is_ the love of his life.


End file.
